Here's our amazing, fully searchable Archive of Past Tweets, updated about once a week. (We made this software ourselves!)

Special Features of this Twitter Feed...

• Our original videos on YouTube (Also see video index)
• Our live TwitPic photos posted from the road. (Also see our TwitPic homepage)
• All Our photos on Facebook - More than 500 albums! (Also see Photo Index)
• Our Panorama Photos (Also see our PhotoSynth account)
• Our FourSquare postings (Also see our FourSquare account)
• All our tweets with links
• "On My Bucket List" — Things I hope to do before departing this realm.

Walmarts I Have Known (10/22), New York City (10/20), Boston & Framingham (10/13), California (9/10), England (8/29), Venice & Verona (8/22), LAX to Nevada (8/19), Wyoming to Oregon (8/7), Scotland (7/18), Utah to Colorado (7/14), Cairo, Egypt (6/25), Athens, Greece (5/30), Joplin Tornado (5/25), Jerusalem April 2011 (4/15), Salt Lake to Oregon (4/9), Gypsy Camping on Kauai (3/17), Camping in Ft. Myers (3/2), Naples and Rome (2/15) Istanbul (2/9) 2011 Photo Highlights (12/31) Jerusalem and Bethlehem on Christmas (12/25)

What is Marriage? (10/28), Flying First Class (10/27), Songwriting (10/23), Science Skepticism (10/19), Fatalism (10/9), Sex (9/29), Nice vs. Mean (9/19), Personality (9/5), Image Fraud (8/5), Taste (8/5), Environmental Trivia (8/4), Old Age (8/1), Autodidactism 2 (7/27), Psychic Predictions (7/24), Delusions 2 (7/16), Passive-Aggressive (7/15), Hoarders (7/13), Haggling (7/10), Lessons of Wile E. Coyote (7/10), End of Human Evolution? (7/7), Extruded Snacks (7/5), Trust Your Gut? (7/5), More About Jerks (7/3), Book Burning (7/2), Paranoia (7/2), Legalizing Drugs (7/1), Antidepressant Fraud (6/30), Alien Birth Control (6/17), Initiative (5/12), Rules and Creativity (5/8), The Oppressed Anglo-Saxon Male (5/6), Ability and Opportunity (5/6), Cognitive Resources (5/5), Your Superpowers (4/29), Childhood and Religion (4/14, Jerusalem, Israel), Delusions of the Internet (4/12), Delusions of Investing (4/8), Regarding Isreal (4/5), Wisdom (4/3), The Straw Man Argument (4/2, South Carolina), Too Much Pee! (4/1), The Sunk Cost Fallacy (3/30), The Limits of Technology (3/28), Autodidactism (3/26), Epidemiology (3/26), The Challenge of Travel (3/22), Love and Investing (3/20), Traveling with a Mission (3/17), Delusions (3/13), Women Want Testosterone (3/12), Romantic Attachment (3/10), Advice for Superheroes (3/6), Jerks! (3/4), The Dilemma of Childhood (3/3) Luxury Marketing (3/2), Predictions for 2011 (1/6) HD Delusions (1/6) - Also see our other Philosophy Essays.

addiction alien art bikini body brain camping children consciousness creativity danger death delusion die dreams drugs dumb dysfunctional ego evil existence family faith foolish freedom future God good homeless government growth home hostel human iPhone jerk language law legal life love luxury marriage mission money music pain paranoia past people photo personality politics possessions reality religion reward risk romance sad science sex someone sports stupid suffering system thrill Walmart wisdom zombie UFO TwitVid @CharlieSheen @BadDalaiLama (or choose your own topic by typing it in the search box below)

1. Main Twitter Feed (@BadDalaiLama) — Our latest tweets and retweets directly on Twitter
2. Lite™ Twitter Feed (@BadLamaWisdom) — Just our timeless words of wisdom.
3. FavStar Recent — Our tweets recently starred and retweeted by others. Read this list for a filtered version of our current tweet stream, vetted by our most dedicated readers in nearly real time.
4. FavStar Most Fav'ed — All-time favorites of our readers, based on stars given.
5. FavStar Most RT'ed — All-time favorites of our readers, based on retweets.
6. Realtime Search for "BadDalaiLama" — Our own tweets interspersed with responses (mentions) from others.
7. Search for "@BadDalaiLama" — Only responses from others.
8. Our Tweet Archive — Our comprehensive, fully searchable archive of all our tweets. May be delayed by a week or two. Includes link and typo corrections and links to the original tweets on Twitter.
9. Our Favorites — Tweets from others that we have starred. Read this stream for the best things we have encountered in our daily readings on Twitter.
10. Favorious - An archive of all our starred favorites back to about Nov. 2010. (Easier to use than the Twitter favorites page above, but may be delayed by a few hours.)
11. Our 2011 Favorites Archive — All our favorites between January and October 2011 on a single page (4010 tweets). (No longer updated.)
12. Our Previous Twitter Account — An archive of @KilroyCafe, our prehistoric Twitter account that ran for 16 months prior to the arrival of His Holiness.

Twitter Notes for @BadDalaiLama...

• Our main account, @BadDalaiLama, is a high-volume feed, averaging about 23 tweets per day. For a lower-volume feed, subscribe to our Lite™ version at @BadDalaiWisdom. This account retweets only our aphorisms (timeless words of wisdom) and none of our other topics.


• The Bad Dalai Lama was born on Sept. 15, 2010. While the good lama went in one direction, his bad brother went in another.


• See our Social Media Policy for an explanation of how all our accounts fit together (Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, etc.).


• The Bad Dalai Lama may be addressed as "His Holiness", "His Badliness", "His Baldliness", "BDL", "HHBDL"... or anything! — so long as it is deferential to his enormous ego wisdom and intellect.


• Any appearance of "I" or "me" in our tweets reflect the opinions of our channeler, Glenn Campbell. They do not necessarily reflect the position of His Holiness the Bad Dalai Lama, who would never use such a pronoun.


• You can find all of our past tweets in our Sacred Archive of Ancient Wisdom—the most sophisticated twitter archive on the planet! Updated every 1-2 weeks. Search by keyword or month. (This is our own archive system, written in Perl. It was originally based on data collected from Tweetake, but now our data comes from TweetBackup. We take the raw data file and process it in our own way.)


• Also follow our channeler on Facebook and Google+. (If you friend us on Facebook, be sure to say the Bad Dalai sent you to improve your chances of acceptance. However, our Facebook page is public and no friending is required to view or subscribe.) Here is a description of how our social media accounts differ.


• If you like the Bad Dalai Lama's tweets, you may also like Glenn Campbell's philosophy essays at KilroyCafe.com, his Videos and the KilroyCafe blog. An overview of his philosophy works is found on Glenn's Philosophy Page.


• The Bad Dalai Lama welcomes your feedback! He reads all @BadDalaiLama mentions and direct messages.


• Spread the love! Please retweet any tweets that you like, both in the present timeline and from the Wisdom Archive. (Retweeting old tweets will give them new life!)


• Donate generously! Give us your stars (favorites) to let His Holiness know how much you care. If you laugh or smile or think about one of our tweets, star it, dummy! (You don't think we're giving out this stuff for free, do you?)


• It also helps us when you retweet our best work, giving your own followers a chance to see it. None of our tweets have gone viral yet, but with your help it might happen.


• All of the Bad Dalai Lama's tweets are his own original work or that of his channeler (unless RT'ed or enclosed in quotes). If you doubt this, try Googling for the tweet. You probably won't find an earlier instance of it, except perhaps on @KilroyCafe. Most of his tweets are Brand New!, but some originally appeared on @KilroyCafe (Glenn's previous account). Occasionally the BDL may plagiarize his own work and repeat something he has already said, but it doesn't happen often. (The vast majority of what we tweet is new, thought up on the same day as tweeted.)


• The Bad Dalai Lama actively "stars" any tweets he finds interesting. See His Favorites. Check this list daily for the best philosophical quotes and news from the Twittosphere. We "fav" tweets mainly for our own reference, so we can more easily find the tweet later. All of our tweets since about Nov. 2010 are archived on Favorious. (This archive is easier to browse than Twitter's own favorites list, but it may be delayed up to 24 hours.)


• Between January and October 2011, we archived our favorites here on this website. This list includes 4090 starred items on a single web page. (Archiving was ended when Tweetake was discontinued and we lost our data source.) This list is not as complete as the Favorious archive, but it is searchable simply by doing a text search on the web page.


• The Bad Dalai Lama follows back most of his new followers (only "real people" though). This means you can DM him if you like! (If you find yourself unable to DM, then send us an @ reply so we can follow you. Just remember, though, that for us to DM a reply, you must be following us yourself.)


• His Holiness receives and reads most DM's and @'s immediately (on his iPhone). His Holiness replies to most DM's (when a reply seems appropriate). He replies to only a few @ messages, when the reply seems useful to everyone. Please note: His Holiness does not engage in running debates about his wisdom, as this would be unbecoming to a man in his position. However, he does process and digest everything you say, and your point may be incorporated in a later tweet.


• His Holiness reads some of the tweets he is subscribed to, but not all. (The main reason for following back is to allow DMs.) He reviews his main timeline occasionally, but most of his reading is done through a series of private lists and his public News and Wisdom lists.


• We take a look at the twitter feed of every new follower. If they seem like real people, we follow them back (regardless of content). We actively block obvious spam followers. If a commercial account follows us, we usually don't block it, but we don't follow back.


• If there is anyone you think His Badliness should be following, let him know! Indeed, if there is anything at all you think he should know about, drop him a DM or @ reply.


• Check out the Bad Dalai Lama's FavStar page to see what tweets are most popular among the intelligentsia. Here are our most popular tweets ranked by Favs and Retweets. Our appearance on FavStar depends on people starring or retweeting his tweets, so please do not hesitate to do so. Note there is a "More" button at the bottom of the page (which we paid for), so you can keep browsing for hours. For a real-time stream of what people currently like, see our FavStar recent page. If you monitor that page, you'll get a filtered version of our main feed, vetted by our most dedicated readers.


• @BadLamaWisdom is the Lite™ version of our account. This account only retweets our aphorisms (timeless words of wisdom), and not travel, photos or any other other contemporary stuff we tweet. If you follow this account instead of @BadDalaiLama, you'll only get 5-10 tweets a day instead of 20-40. When we spit out a gem on @BadDalaiLama, we will usually retweet it on @BadLamaWisdom within 24 hours. @BadLamaWisdom may also include occasional retweets of our past wisdom.


• If you are subscribed to @BadDalaiLama, you probably also want to subscribe to @BadLamaWisdom. Current words of wisdom will not be repeated on your timeline, but you will get selected tweets from the past. (Usually only 1-3 a day in addition to the main feed.) This gives us a chance to retweet selected gems from the past that happen to be relevant to today's discussion.


• His Holiness may post his tweets in real time, or he may schedule them a few hours in advance via Hootsuite. One advantage of scheduling is to insert a waiting period between brain and mouth, so there are fewer typos or ill-advised tweets. Most scheduled tweets are published on the hour, so there won't be too many of them and readers know when to expect them.... Then again, there is also something to be said for posting "live" in the moment, so we do that, too! Check the time of a tweet, and if it doesn't fall on the hour or come from Hootsuite, we are probably posting it live as we think of it.


• In Nov. 2011, we stopped trying to fix the URLs in this archive. Twitter automatically converts all links into shortened versions that start http://t.co. Before Nov. 2011, we tried to manually repair them in this archive, but it became too time consuming. Now, you will only see the t.co link. You can see the expanded link either by clicking on it or by clicking on our date to view the original tweet on Twitter. Unfortunately, because we are not correcting the URLs, you can no longer search by URL for, say, just YouTube videos or TwitPic photos. (These searches work fine before Nov. 2011.)


• Starting Nov. 25, 2011, we began the "Late Night Lama" recycling program. Tweets posted between approximately midnight and 6am (Eastern US Time) are reposts from one year ago on that date. These tweets are posted via Hootsuite and usually appear on the hour.


• It is bad Karma to repeat the Bad Dalai Lama's words without attribution. Lord Google will know!


• Prehistoric tweets (before the birth of His Holiness) can be found in the @KilroyCafe archive, which was active from April 2009 until Sept. 2010. We retweet some of this wisdom on occasion, but there are still many gems to be mined.